How to Be a Spy

So you want to be a spy… but you’re not too good at it. Here are some helpful tips to make you a better spy! Be careful where you step!


  1. Be Fern Tait. Get your members. You should have a leader {which will be Fern unless you join another one. Which won’t be as good as Ferns so there is no actual point.}, a computer and math whiz. Also 5 spies at least, assistant of the leader, and 10 backup spies, less or more. Also make some spy equipment and a laptop with high speed Internet access.
  2. Set up camp. You need a base, a place to meet. Try digging a big underground floor with a ladder. Make it look like a beaver hole. Put a laptop, a table with some chairs. One big chair, a board with an eraser and 2 markers, a telephone, and food supply. Also a secret place with all secret information that no one else knows. Get to work! Be a spy!
  3. Assess the situation you will be placing yourself into: if you are spying with an organization, they will likely train you, but you should consider whether the organization is entirely trustworthy or not. Virtually no organizations that operate spies, big or small, are trustworthy from the point of view of a spy.
  4. Learn to read lips if the subject is far away. If you do this you might want to have a pair of binoculars handy. (You can do this by watching a DVD on mute with the subtitles on to get used to the way the mouth forms words.)You can also buy a spy ear to listen to what people are talking about from a distance.
  5. If you see an enemy is in a car, you should take pictures of their license plate or write it down. Remember to do so subtly. Do not go after him or he will know you are chasing him.
  6. Be ready to get out of tough situations. Remember things to say if you are caught, to avoid suspicion.
  7. Learn how to not get caught. Styles of communication are important.
  8. Learn to understand body language. This is one of the most critical characteristic of a spy or a diplomat, typically these are the same thing.
  9. Blend in. If you want to spy, you should blend in with crowds and communities. Seem like you belong. If you’re spying on a location, have a good reason to be there. Wear common clothing for the location, which is not easily identifiable, unless there is a war, in which you could be hung for not looking like a soldier and carrying secrets. Consider the behavior of others around you: you want to be purposeful where they are, not where they’re not. Avoid attracting attention. Being a legitimate employee can significantly help, for example. Make sure it doesn’t look like you are trying to blend in, though.
  10. Gather intelligence; it’s good to have satellite maps of the area. Take the weeks before your official “mission” to casually scout the area, learn the common routes, and get people used to seeing you. (this is where your good reason to be around comes in handy, and this will help you blend in further.)
  11. Learn the habits of anyone you’re spying upon. Don’t be nervous or react if they see you. Don’t let them notice that you are looking at them or following them. If you are following them, stay far behind and try to make it look like you don’t notice them.
  12. Learn how to eavesdrop.
  13. Alter your daily routine each day so any person following you cannot pick it up.
  14. It’s good to have more than one spy to observe the area and watch your back. Teamwork is crucial to all spies. Use walkie-talkies, not cell-phones, because they are easily traceable.
  15. Be aware of your surroundings at all times. Learn to think on your feet and be resourceful (preferably whilst looking a bit dumb). Try to practice new, useful ways to use items you carry with you, or replace them with other ones that cover a broader range of useful functions.
  16. Include in your team a team captain, a researcher, security guard, some one that does the spying and a backup person, but don’t hang out with them in public areas outside the mission (unless the friendship is correct with your cover).
  17. Train yourself and your team carefully.
  18. Always have a bag with essentials packed up around so in case of emergency, it is ready to take. Include a type of survival kit, all weather clothing, form of communication (for example, a phone), and a note pad to write down any info you and your team find.
  19. If you are spying on a lost item,remember to ask questions like when the item was last seen, or who accompanied the victim, etc.
  20. Always Plan. Without a plan, you will be putting yourself, and possibly your mission at risk, and your mission mates.


  • Wear cool, plain-colored clothing. Don’t stand out!
  • Learn to sketch quickly; it will help draw certain areas you may need to revisit.
  • Develop hand signals that only you and your team can understand, but don’t make them too complicated, or they will know who you are with by who sees them and looks like they understand, so if you see them, don’t look like you understand.
  • Keep in mind that you want to leave an area you walked into exactly as it was when you entered. If you turned the lights on, turn them off when you are done, etc.
  • Don’t expect to know what your work is going towards, as spies are almost always pawns in a political game.
  • Never be surprised to learn things. Especially shocking things. A spy’s job is to discover these things, and report them to their “bosses.”
  • Often, real spies don’t choose their career. A spy is an agent employed by a state to obtain secret information, especially of a military nature, concerning its potential or actual enemies. A spy can also be a person employed by a company to obtain confidential information about its competitors.
  • Learn to fight and flee stealthily in case you find yourself in a confrontation with the enemy.
    1. If you want, you can make a spy club
  • Learn the language, lingo and industry spy jargon.
  • The head quarters should either be in an isolated area or under extreme cover. Try to include a private office, briefing room, and computer room.
  • In a nutshell: “Improvise, Modify, Adapt, Overcome” … and never, ever, ever get caught.
  • Notice things that are out of place.
  • Write things down in a note pad, transcribe them to the computer, and throw away the papers.
  • If you know any martial arts, they can help you.
  • Give each person in your group a particular job, e.g. reporter, bodyguard and a scout to see if the coast is clear.
  • Remember: Never let your cover be blown!
  • Sometimes it helps to know a different language. Let’s say that person only knows English, maybe you know English, Japanese, and Spanish. You can be talking about one thing, and they think another.
  • If you are doing a mission in the dark, black clothes don’t help, use dark clothes like gray, dark purple and navy blue, but black makes you stand out and make it look like you’re sneaking, too.
  • If you are bringing any electronics, you should bring extra batteries, especially if you are going to be out for a while.
  • You should always be prepared for anything.
  • If you are caught when doing something, always have a reasonable response ready.


  • Remember: you may face moderate to severe legal repercussions from partaking in most forms of spying. Please be careful.
  • Always obey the law. Going to jail with the defense “I was trying to help” very rarely earns you respect.
  • Always watch your back: if someone catches you, your cover is blown, and you’re most likelydone for.
  • You don’t need “gadgets” to be a spy!
  • Even with your closest friends, you still should be cautious of your insiders
  • Remember you may be charged for stalking.
  • Always have your coverstory ready!
  • Always be ready to answer!
  • If you are on the run, develop a way to change your appearance. (i.e. Quickchange)

Things You’ll Need

  • Consider what you will need for your task, and that the majority of such things are likely to be amateur equipment. The most important thing for a good spy is their training, not how many gadgets they are loaded down with.
  • Some good gadgets:
    • A good camera
    • Spy gear and gadgets
    • Monitoring and surveillance software (Optional, as some cameras take videos)
    • Notebook for sketching and writing things down
    • Pencils and pens
    • Sunglasses (unless spying at night)
    • Research databases
    • A good hiding place, like a closet or a attic
    • A hidden camera
    • Stealth
    • Night vision goggles (If at night)
    • A digital watch with timer (If you need to get in and out fast!)
    • A wig, an extra change of clothing, and make-up (to disguise yourself if the person that you are spying on sees you, and you need to get away fast.)
    • A good buddy to run to if you know you’re gonna get caught.
    • A dust rag in case you leave fingerprints
    • Make sure you have a watch on or with you.
  • If you like to spy often for fun, make a route around your neighborhood
  • Flashlight
  • A map of the area
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This entry was posted on Saturday, November 5th, 2011 at 4:27 pm and is filed under Gadgets. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.